Punk kills mother duck and gets probation. Baby ducks respond, “Flock You”

The baby ducks were adopted and sent out into the wild, far from any malls.

My titles and jokes have been getting worse and worse. Of course I naturally blame the medication I am taking, but I am terrified once my cold subsides and the pills are out of my system, I will find I am still unfunny. Almost like that time I figured I was just getting fat because I ate so much, but when I stopped eating so much, I realized I was still fat.  What was this posting about?

Ah yes. Joshua Linhares, a 25 year old future serial killer, has been sentenced to 1 year probation for deliberately gunning his car to hit a mother duck as she was walking her ducklings through a mall parking lot. Joshua, being the upstart blood fart that he is, plead not guilty and claimed he didn’t mean to hit the duck and was distracted by a woman waving her arms at him. Yes, she was waving her arms because you were speeding purposefully to kill a duck and her children…

The jury took 15 minutes to convict the man and the only reason he did not get prison time was because he had no prior convictions. That being said, whenever I see an unsolved animal murder, I will know where to look.

I smell a TV series.

Law & Order: Goose and Gander squad.

See? That wasn’t funny at all and I am STILL going to leave it there. Why? Because I don’t owe you anything!