Necropolitica is back my zoftig little sausages.

I know what some of you are thinking, “When did you leave? I just joined your Facebook fan page because I want to appear like I give a shit. I never read your ‘blog’ .”

That makes two of us.

Chris and I have finally made the big move we have been  discussing and by big I mean we are both still rather plump. (He is fatter however as I have lost 6 lbs unpacking the entire damn apartment while he is off pop locking and crotch blocking)  We finally moved out of my best friends house and into our own apartment. Oddly enough it is in the exact same complex we lived in before we moved into my friends house in the first place. After an extensive search, we realized our mediocre credit and lack of sweet ass cash created a rather difficult apartment search. Somehow we convinced the apartment manager that we never moved out in the first place and that if she didn’t give us another apartment, we were going to tell the ACLU that she called us faggots and deny us entire into our high school prom. (current event reference ftw)

During the apartment search, I also developed the most amazing skill EVER. I can convert ANY liquid drink into marble sized kidney stones of horrific proportion. I was a little hesitant to go into detail about this because I know how some of you find me sexually attractive and the idea that I could get sick, let alone shoot rocks out of my dick, might turn some of you off and ruin the illusion.  To make matters worse they made my cry like a little girl and I sat in the bathtub while rocking back and forth, vomiting… I know I have a boner right about now, what about you? The only plus side of the entire event was that the asian nurse at the hospital that helped me (and it only cost me 10k) was an avid WoW player.  I thought that was awesome, especially considering how I feel about asian people. In the sense that I have no feelings about asians at all. None that are positive anyway.

Any-who, after 12 whopping Kidney Stones, an exciting moving experience and a fascinating dive into the wild world of web design, we are back. For the time being I am the only one that will be blogging, because Chris went back to Texas to visit family.  Which means I am home alone for a week…. which is code for you and I to have a sexy tryst…. and by sexy tryst I mean fisting.

Welcome back nerds!