Star Craft II beta test – Need a light?

So my new best friend ever, Greg, has somehow gotten his hands on another Star Craft 2 Beta test key and he graciously gave it to me. And people say that hair dolls and voodoo don’t work.

When I got the voicemail from him this morning, due to my shitty service, all I heard from his recording was , “So…. (inaudible) I  figured you would…..(inaudible) wanna…… Star Craft 2 beta key….”. That was all I needed to hear and I was out of bed and furiously pawing at the screen in an attempt to get the phone to call him back. I was asleep when I heard the voice mail notification go off and we all know how hard it is to focus on anything the moment after you wake from a deep sleep. I wasn’t quite sure where I was, saw my dog and thought he was  a pile of clothes and starred at the keypad to my phone as if I were a caveman who had never used cell service. Needless to say, after a few minutes my fat digits mashed the correct keys and my nerdy Mexican friend was on the other line answering my nerd prayers.

Moments later the email arrived, beta key included and I downloaded the client with speedy speediness. ( Speedy speediness?  I am still jazzed alright? I don’t need to fuckin’ impress you!)

The game took it’s time to install and once it was configured, I could not get it to load longer than a second. I finally tracked the problem down to a graphic card rendering issue and rewrote the default rendering mode in the configuration files. VIOLA! All systems go!

The Terran are still highly mobile

This game is BEAUTIFUL. After playing for a few minutes I was instantly transported back into high school, where I used to play the original with my closeted, somewhat boyfriend/best friend.

Yay for high school sexual confusion!

I was hoping I could access the single player mode, but the only thing included is the multi player option. Now, I am really good at Star Craft when playing against craptacular players and people who have never used a mouse before, you know, Jews? However, the 15 year old super virgins that kicked my butt today reminded me of my inability to really play the game with discernible skill. I usually start out and horde resources, never building any units until I am overtaken by an army of 3 Zerglings. It really is quite sad.

I don’t think I am able to post any pictures from the beta test,  as they may have something in the EULA about copy written images and what not. So, in place of my own screen shots, I am going to include some that came with the install. As it stands now, the Protoss are my favorite, but they were in the original as well. They seem to be a tad overpowered when compared to the other two factions, but when you have warp gates and transdimensional spaceships, what are the space hobo Terran’s but a moth to a flame? I am sure I just lost some of my uber political readers with this post, but this game is the bees knees you elitist dweebs!

The Protoss has them thar lazer beams

I have not come across any technical issues as of yet, but I am sure if they exist I will find them. I am tempted to report my crappy score to Blizzard as a possible bug. Surely one person couldn’t be THIS bad.

I thre this in for my friend Joel. If he reads my blog.

All in all, Star Craft II looks to be a beautiful addition to the original. I am just hoping they expand upon this version much more than they did the original. This game is too enjoyable to sit on the shelves for another 11 years.