Janet is bald and the hot chubby won American Idol

So, I didn’t follow American Idol this season, or really any season before this one, but I know enough about the show to see when it’s dead on arrival. First of all, the season had no exciting or outgoing singers, everyone looked like they were singing for a commercial about Valium and hairy armpits. The female singer, Barbara Stanwick, or whatever her name was, was the best singer of the two, so I have no idea how that chubby hottie won.

I have a thing for slightly attractive chubby guys, shut up.

I have questionable taste in men.

Ok I will admit that in the picture above he looks like he just got done saying, “I did run out of toilet paper, so I just used my shirt and pieces of  my beard instead.  I am pretty sure we’re all good.”

As my mom and I watched all of the back patting and horribly written jokes, we couldn’t stop laughing in horror at just how bad the show was getting. I won’t even go into detail about how horribly Lee sang his victory song. He turned a Coldplay song into a melody that could have been played over cat pornography, with the intention of getting cats to “le fuck.” I will give him some leniency, considering he was probably overwhelmed that he had just beaten out Jewel as the winner, but still. Suck it up!

The highlight of the night!? The end. However Janet did make an appearance and she was enjoyable. I love me some Janet, even if it looked like her butt was stung by a hive of bees. Bees with jungle fever.

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