Baby Lienstein

This is absolutely mind boggling. Disney has the nerve to tell me that plopping your child in front of the television, because you are too lazy to interact with them, is not educational? Typical liberals, with their “have something to do with your child’s well being” nonsense. I have watched these Baby Einstein videos and if there is no educational value in learning the difference between an ocean liner and a tug boat, well I just don’t know what kind of world we live in.

Apparently, Disney disagrees.

They may have been a great electronic baby sitter, but the unusual refunds appear to be a tacit admission that they did not increase infant intellect.

“We see it as an acknowledgment by the leading baby video company that baby videos are not educational, and we hope other baby media companies will follow suit by offering refunds,” said Susan Linn, director of Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, which has been pushing the issue for years.

Baby Einstein, founded in 1997, was one of the earliest players in what became a huge electronic media market for babies and toddlers. Acquired by Disney in 2001, the company expanded to a full line of books, toys, flashcards and apparel, along with DVDs including “Baby Mozart,” “Baby Shakespeare” and “Baby Galileo.”

The videos — simple productions featuring music, puppets, bright colors, and not many words — became a staple of baby life: According to a 2003 study, a third of all American babies from 6 months to 2 years old had at least one “Baby Einstein” video.

Despite their ubiquity, and the fact that many babies are transfixed by the videos, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screen time at all for children under 2.

Luckily I am gay, so the chance of me popping out a child without in depth planning, is pretty low on the totem pole of crazy. That being said, if I were to have a kid, there is no way my 2 year old would be watching television, especially the LSD inspired crap that is Baby Einstein. My intense dislike of Baby Einstein could have a lot to do with the fact that I hear and see the videos on a daily basis. I always assumed I was cynical, because I never saw the educational value behind children going on a journey to find a magical birthday machine.

What a great way to educate children, make them watch 2 hours of nonsense about a machine that doesn’t exist. Maybe in the next video they can go on an adventure and find the secret coven of unicorns, lodged deeply within the Pope’s heart.

So parents, you heard it here first. Disney says, “Put down the rum and coke, the vibrator or that unemployment check you have yet to cash and watch your damn kids.” The next time they bring home an F on their history report, don’t blame Baby Einstein, blame your genes.

You’re next, Yo Gabba Gabba.

Read the entire New York Times article.