Tonight Show Performs Mormon Christmas Carol for Orrin Hatch

Hallelujah!  Utah’s Republican Senator, Orrin Hatch, has bestowed to the American public the gift of song!  Hatch, who just so happens to be a devout Mormon, tore up the charts this week with “8 Days Of Hanukkah” (watch below) a Christmas carol styled ditty for the Jewish community.

Not to be outdone in the festive spirit of the season, The Tonight Show’s Max Weinberg decided to return the favor and write a holiday song aimed specifically at Mormons starring the Mormon Tapper-nacle Choir.

Praise Jesus!  It truly is a Christmawanzakkah miracle!

P.S. Was anyone else bummed out after finding out Katherine Heigl is Mormon?

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Congress passes moral judgement on Tiger Woods and is lost on the irony.

Tiger Woods was being considered for a Congressional Gold Medal for his part in breaking down barriers in the sports world and promoting good  sportsmanship. However, now that he has been exposed as a living human being, capable of flaws, Congress has decided to withdraw the honor.

Democratic Rep. Joe Baca of California was pushing for Tiger Woods to be recognized for his achievements by purposing a piece of legislation that would have honored him and his accomplishments. In light of recent events, he has stated that he will not pursue the legislation this session. The medal is the highest honor that Congress possesses to honor civilians for their contributions to society. (More after the jump)

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Ebay selling Levi Johnston role play costume. Nothing says sexy like slightly used crap.

The Christmas holiday is quickly approaching us and if you are anything like me, you have done very little shopping… if any. Maybe you have been busy, sick or plan on skipping it this year because you’re dirt poor and live off of cans of creamed corn. Sure, that sounds oddly specific and I know what you are thinking and the answer is yes! I applied for food stamps not less than 20 minutes ago. Hurrah for a richly lead life!

However, if you happen to be one of those rich bastards that I keep hearing about, you have the chance to own a piece of history. Of course by “rich” I mean, do you have $50 or so bucks to purchase the infamous hockey pieces used in the Levi Johnstons “Where’s the dick?” photo shoot?

The pieces, owned by Josh Koll are now up for sale on Ebay. Before we move forward, let’s take a second and re read that last sentence. Take your time.

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Tim Burton Exhibits Artwork at MoMA: One step closer to my Tim Burton hair doll!

WIRED.com recently ran a Q & A article on their website with my biggest idol, the wonderfully dark, Tim Burton where he discussed his new exhibit at the Museum of Modern Art in New York.  The exhibit is comprised of numerous sketches, paintings, storyboards, props, cartoons, and puppets created by the director himself.  The WIRED article isn’t very long and doesn’t go into great detail, but it’s just enough for those of you who, like me, find yourself cyberstalking Tim Burton.

Wired: Not many directors have retrospectives of their artwork and illustrations. How did having a fine arts background influence your directorial visions?

Burton: The films I grew up loving were very visual. They were the kinds of things that get etched in your memory. To me, film is a very visual thing, so I’m very grateful for my animation background. It’s kind of everything. It’s art, it’s design, it’s film. At that time all I wanted to be was an animator, but through the backdoor you learn how to do everything else. When you make an animated film you have to act it out, design the layouts, shoot it, and edit it. It was a great overall experience.

Wired: What’s your creative process? Do you find yourself doodling and suddenly you’ve got a character for a movie?

Burton: The whole sketching and drawing process to me is the equivalent to how some people write notes. I’ve never really felt like a writer. It was always a visual thing for me. With Jack Skellington, for example, that was just a doodle I kept drawing over and over and over for no apparent reason.

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Levi Johnston is naked AGAIN, people with bad taste get a chubby.

So, Levi Johnston has had a few extra images from his Playgirl shoot released. I won’t go into great detail about them, because you can see them for yourselves. I will say this however, I don’t feel ugly when I step out of the shower anymore. Apparently, I too can be a Playgirl model, all while not showing my junk.

Although his butt looks SLIGHTLY nicer in these shots, they are still nothing spectacular. I don’t want to come across like a perv, but if you’re going to get naked, you don’t leave your socks on and IF you leave your socks on, I want my money back.  Show us the wiener so I can move past this disappointing chapter in my life.

Do you ever see so much nudity and porn, that you just start to ignore it and find it all becomes just blah to you?

Yeah me neither.

I don’t want to post these images for copyright infringement precautions, although they are ALL OVER the Internet at this point. So I will link to them if you wish to feel a subtle amount of sexuality rush to your groin, only to give up half way and evaporate into a puddle of “eh”. However, since I was gone for so long and I am sure some of you are too busy to be searching for these dull drums, I will post one of them here for you. Yeah, I know… you love me. I will post what I consider to be the best shot. (Which isn’t saying much) Oh snap Levi! Picture after the jump.

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ABC: America’s go to station for teaching women to shut the hell up, or else.

ABC’s “Good Morning America” is sending some  crazy mixed messages these days.

First they cancelled Adam Lambert’s performance because of all the homosexual juice he was spraying around all willy nilly and now they offer convicted domestic abuse fan, Chris Brown, an interview AND a live performance. The best part of this roller coaster of stupidity is that when contacted about the apparent homophobia, ABC had this to say.

“He (Adam Lambert) was not canceled over a gay kiss. He showed himself to be unpredictable on live TV.”

In other words, ABC is unsure whether or not Adam Lambert will start fisting patrons, but are positively assured that Chris Brown will start beating random woman. Classy ABC, classy.

ABC is hoping for the same ratings boost that Rihanna gave them during her Diane Sawyer interview, in which she described Chris Brown as soulless, when he was beating her silly.

Brown, who taped his interview with Roberts last weekend, was sentenced in August to six months’ labor and five years’ probation after he pleaded guilty to assaulting Rihanna in February.

The top ABC insider added: “Chris Brown’s interview was booked way before Adam Lambert took to the stage. It is to give him a chance to respond to Rihanna’s interview.

What exactly is there to respond to?

“Did you beat her?”

“Yes”

Interview over.

If you would like to call ABC and voice your displeasure or possibly recommend some other domestic abusers, feel free.

ABC Audience Relations
1-212-456-7477

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Watch: Robin Williams on Palin, Bono and “Old Dogs”.

I am not a huge fan of Robin Williams, but the man is incredibly talented and has great comedic timing. The only problem is, he makes me uncomfortable and anxious when I watch him on Television. He talks so fast and always interrupts people, so I am just waiting for the host to jump out of his seat and flip out, screaming about him never shutting the hell up, or some noise.

Just thinking about it makes me feel dizzy.

In this clip Williams  pokes fun at Palin (like that’s hard), mentions a U2 concert and shows a clip from his new movie.

A movie I have even less desire to see now that I have seen a preview.

I blame Seth Green.

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Adam Lambert to America, “I am not your babysitter.” CBS gets boner from lesbian kiss.

Adam Lambert sat down with some white woman on the Early Show and was impressively mature and intelligent. Not that I would think he would be anything other, but for as much as I post about him on here, I know very little about the man off  stage.

Adam held his own, in what appeared to be, a situation where the interviewer was attempting to push an agenda or hoping to make him feel guilty for his AMA performance. Once you watch the video, her bias is hard to ignore, but that could just be me paying attention and using my ears.. who knows?

When pressed about the issue Adam stated that he wasn’t a babysitter and that it was the job of the parents to be watching their own children, especially considering his performance appeared at almost 11 o clock at night. Parents in America are notorious for blaming television for the things that are being shown to their children, rarely taking responsibility for their child’s viewing habits.  This blame game reaches well beyond the gamut of live television or even sitcoms. Family Guy is often bombarded with this kind of lazy parenting and the show even references this from time to time.

Other than coming off non apologetic and intelligent, something else happened in this clip that you may have missed.

CBS blurred out the male on male kiss from Adam’s performance, but had no issue showing the Madonna/Britney incident from years earlier. This is even more noteworthy considering Adam draws attention to the apparent double standard in television and pop music, during his interview. CBS had responded to the double standard with this.

“We gave this some real thought. The Madonna image is very familiar and has appeared countless times including many times on morning television. The Adam Lambert image is a subject of great current controversy, has not been nearly as widely disseminated, and for all we know, may still lead to legal consequences.”

The logic behind this is questionable, simply being that if it was the act that was inappropriate and not the amount of times it was viewed, both images should have been deemed inappropriate. Homophobia is alive and well, no matter how often people attempt to paint Hollywood as a liberal bastion of gay sex. Trust me… it’s not. I lived there and I was rarely offered free homosexual sex… and you know I tried!

Gross.

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