So my new best friend ever, Greg, has somehow gotten his hands on another Star Craft 2 Beta test key and he graciously gave it to me. And people say that hair dolls and voodoo don’t work.

When I got the voicemail from him this morning, due to my shitty service, all I heard from his recording was , “So…. (inaudible) I  figured you would…..(inaudible) wanna…… Star Craft 2 beta key….”. That was all I needed to hear and I was out of bed and furiously pawing at the screen in an attempt to get the phone to call him back. I was asleep when I heard the voice mail notification go off and we all know how hard it is to focus on anything the moment after you wake from a deep sleep. I wasn’t quite sure where I was, saw my dog and thought he was  a pile of clothes and starred at the keypad to my phone as if I were a caveman who had never used cell service. Needless to say, after a few minutes my fat digits mashed the correct keys and my nerdy Mexican friend was on the other line answering my nerd prayers.

Moments later the email arrived, beta key included and I downloaded the client with speedy speediness. ( Speedy speediness?  I am still jazzed alright? I don’t need to fuckin’ impress you!)

The game took it’s time to install and once it was configured, I could not get it to load longer than a second. I finally tracked the problem down to a graphic card rendering issue and rewrote the default rendering mode in the configuration files. VIOLA! All systems go!

The Terran are still highly mobile

This game is BEAUTIFUL. After playing for a few minutes I was instantly transported back into high school, where I used to play the original with my closeted, somewhat boyfriend/best friend.

Yay for high school sexual confusion!

I was hoping I could access the single player mode, but the only thing included is the multi player option. Now, I am really good at Star Craft when playing against craptacular players and people who have never used a mouse before, you know, Jews? However, the 15 year old super virgins that kicked my butt today reminded me of my inability to really play the game with discernible skill. I usually start out and horde resources, never building any units until I am overtaken by an army of 3 Zerglings. It really is quite sad.

I don’t think I am able to post any pictures from the beta test,  as they may have something in the EULA about copy written images and what not. So, in place of my own screen shots, I am going to include some that came with the install. As it stands now, the Protoss are my favorite, but they were in the original as well. They seem to be a tad overpowered when compared to the other two factions, but when you have warp gates and transdimensional spaceships, what are the space hobo Terran’s but a moth to a flame? I am sure I just lost some of my uber political readers with this post, but this game is the bees knees you elitist dweebs!

The Protoss has them thar lazer beams

I have not come across any technical issues as of yet, but I am sure if they exist I will find them. I am tempted to report my crappy score to Blizzard as a possible bug. Surely one person couldn’t be THIS bad.

I thre this in for my friend Joel. If he reads my blog.

All in all, Star Craft II looks to be a beautiful addition to the original. I am just hoping they expand upon this version much more than they did the original. This game is too enjoyable to sit on the shelves for another 11 years.

Star Craft II beta test – Need a light? is a post from: Necropolitica - Deleting the stereotype

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I spent the last two weekends at a friends house enjoying one of the most amazing video games I have ever had the pleasure of playing.

No, scratch that, you don’t play this game,  you experience an entirely engrossing experience that often led me to forget that these characters were not real.

I am not one to be easily swayed by the hype surrounding anything,  evident when I happened to think Alice in Wonderland was rather, “wonder less” while everyone else was ripping out their hair for it. That being said, Quantic Dream has created a ground breaking piece of art with Heavy Rain.  Once in a while, you come across something that changes the genre in which it arrives and in this case, Heavy Rain is more art than it is video game. Before I go on, watch the video below and judge for yourself if you are even going to be interested in the following review. Keeping in mind that this is a video game, I dare you not to be moved by this performance.

Click here to view the embedded video.

With an entirely unique system of play, you cycle through four main characters, each a piece in a larger puzzle that intersects reactively according to the choices you make during the story. The game starts with the main character, Ethan Mars, a young father of two,  husband, architect and overall unexpected sex symbol.  When you begin the game it starts out painfully slow for the first 20-30 minutes, which can be slightly irksome for the more ADD prone amongst us. However, after a few minutes you realize the necessity behind the slow introduction as the game dynamics are unlike anything you have seen or played before. The entire game is built on a system of active decision making, allowing you to choose several different options during each encounter, never knowing the outcome of those choices. Whether you choose to take a shower or play with your children, these actions or inactions will have an impact on the unfolding of the story.  To add an even further level of complexity and urgency to your choices, Heavy Rain forces you to consider each and every choice you make, often times in an incredibly short amount of time, we are talking seconds here people. The full impact of these choices is further exaggerated by the inability to save your game or restart a particular event or area.

Heavy Rain's Ethan Mars

That is right, once you start the game you must play through entirely. There are no muligans in this business and that alone can be incredibly frustrating, but rewarding.

I will not go into too many details about the story or plot, as some of you have yet to play the game, but what I will tell you will provide you with enough information to spark your interests. (Assuming you have good  taste. which I assume you do considering you are reading my blog.)

As the game progresses Ethan Mars loses his eldest son in a tragic car accident and regresses into a deep depression, while the life around him falls apart. It is during this time that a serial killer, known as “The Origami Killer”, resurfaces and begins to terrorize your world. Known for his particular theatrics, the Origami Killer leaves clues and origami figures for the parents of the abducted children, forcing them to engage in a race to beat the clock and save their children before they are drowned by the oncoming  heavy seasonal rainfall. Hence the title of the game.

As the game progresses you are introduced to three other playable characters, all who play an integral role in the solving of the killers riddles. At any point you can be killed while playing these characters and without the ability to restart, it makes your choices far more stressful, making even simple decisions leaving you panicked.  These characters are all unknowingly intertwined and connected to Ethan Mars and the search for the Origami Killer. Madison Paige is a photo journalist who hopes to break the story and solve the crime herself. Suffering from insomnia, she often checks herself into motels as they are the only place she can experience a comfortable nights sleep. It is during one of these nights that she comes in contact with Mars and ends up playing a pivotal role in his survival and overall success, depending on your choices.

Heavy Rain's Madison Paige

Looking at these stills of actual  in game footage, you can see just how detailed and beautiful the graphics are. The mood of the game, lighting and environment are precisely crafted to invoke a different emotion depending on your progress in the story. The music is also equally brilliant and aids the player in forgetting that they are playing a game and not watching a well written drama.  The music is so well designed and crafted that you can almost hear the intent behind its placement in particular areas and events.  Check out the video below for a sample of the main theme, which I find to be both moving and  haunting.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Later on you are introduced to Norman Jayden, who I happen to have a major digital man crush on. I say man crush because I am so masculine that most people think I am straight and I don’t want to throw off my readers. Norman is an FBI agent who has been assigned to the Origami Killer case.  He has an adorable Boston accent and an even more endearing drug addiction. On top of both of those wonderful traits, he carries around with him the single most amazing piece of technology I have ever seen.  The item in question? He uses a pair of glasses that are built around a computer that is able to interact with his environment in real time, allowing him to read DNA samples, finger prints and anything else that could be considered useful at a crime scene. All of this data is then connected to the FBI central data base and displayed in an augmented realty virtual layover.  Norman is a vital character in Heavy Rain as he serves as one of the major devices for evidence collection, allowing you to unveil the identity of the Origami Killer… granted you make the correct choices of course.

Heavy Rain's Norman Jayden

I have also included a video demonstrating the wonders of the A.R.I system. What I would give if this thing were real.

Click here to view the embedded video.

The last major character in Heavy Rain is Scott Shelby, a private investigator working on behalf of the victims of the Origami Killer. Shelby is trying to piece together evidence to lead him to the whereabouts of the killers latest victim, hoping to save him in time and bring the killer to Justice. A retired police officer, Shelby understands the corrupt underbelly of the city and spends most of his time in less than desirable situations, looking for anything that will lead him to the killer.

Heavy Rain's Scott Shelby

Heavy Rain left me so immersed that I actually found myself feeling for these characters and their plight. I was anxious and upset when something would affect them for the worst. The stunning environmental design, coupled with such a beautiful soundtrack was almost overwhelming at times. As lame as this may sound, I related to these characters and felt for them and their journey. At times they felt real.  I am going to include a video that demonstrates some of the game play, to further illustrate the game dynamics and story development.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Overall, Heavy Rain is an intense experience that will leave you questioning the boundaries that a video game can be contained in as well as the emotions they can invoke. Aside from a few mechanic issues with the button placement, Heavy Rain is just as about flawless as they come. All in all, I would recommend this game to anyone that wants to try something new and reward themselves with an exciting emotional ride. I would not recommend this game for anyone with anxiety issues or fat fingers, as I often found it hard to hit the correct buttons when I was expected to make quick decisions. However, if you can cut back on the Cheetos or use some sort of dialing wand, you should be fine.

Pros: Heavy Rain is a beautiful game, pushing the envelope of character development and game dynamics. The music is far above most of its competitors and the characters and graphics are well developed and immersive.

Cons: Some of the controls can be frustrating as they require awkward finger posistion, which can cause muscle strain in certain situations. The onscreen notifications also tend to overlap their visual cues with other actions, making it hard to tell if you are supposed to tap a button rapidly or hold it down.

Heavy Rain: 5 out of 5

Heavy Rain – The Origami Killer raises the bar is a post from: Necropolitica - Deleting the stereotype

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Nene Anagasaki is a computer program from the game LovePlus and she was designed to give companionship to lonely and sad (and I stress sad) men.

The wedding took place during a Make: Japan meet-up held at the Tokyo Institute of Technology. In attendance were a live audience, an MC, the bride’s virtual video game girlfriend — who made a speech — and a real human priest.

As a gay man, who can not marry, I am a tad perplexed as to how this individual was able to marry a digital woman, even more so curious as to how God allowed such a thing to take place. The last time I checked, I was told God fancied marriages between a man and woman, not man and machine. My hypothesis?

Buddha has more sway in the East than God does and thus… well this. Either that or marriage really is something different to everyone. Eh, who am I to judge?

I mean… I am still judging this sad little man, but…ahh forget it.

I doubt the ceremony was real, but the odd nature of it is real enough. I have long known the Japanese to be an odd people as most of my childhood friends were Asian. Growing up I loved their culture and music, all the while understanding their bizarre take on sex and relationships. This often includes a group of people known as Otaku, who have been known to actively court and attempt to date and marry AI programs or inanimate objects. I still recall the man who was dating his body pillow… and she had a name.

Awkward.

I am pretty sure this is a sin. Someone should divert funding from the needy to stop this.

The groom, a skinny nerd who goes by the name of SAL 9000 (wtf? ), has admitted to having more than one digital girlfriend in his life.

Catch him now ladies… before he gets away.

When BoingBoing previously wrote of this, they asked an Otaku how him and his “girlfriend” interacted. He had this to say.

OK, this is pretty embarrassing. The DS has a mic and a touchscreen, so… one time, she asked me to say “I love you” a hundred times into the mic. I was on the airplane when she asked me that, so I was like, no way. There was also this part where you have to hold her hand on the touchscreen. If you touch her hand with the stylus, you get to hold her hand. And then there’s the part where you have to kiss her.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Seriously Japan… what the hell?

The Japanese are odd – Man marries digital wife. Gays around the world revolt. is a post from: Necropolitica - Deleting the stereotype

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I have traveled across the world in search of adventure, dragons and sweet ass.

There has been a slow increase of gay characters and gay themes in video games of late.  Just this year the Sims 3 introduced the idea of gay marriage, although same sex relationships had been a part of the game mechanics since the original.

Click here to view the embedded video.

The last game I had played, in which you could make your character homosexual, was Fable. The ensuing sex scenes, although they faded to black, had some comical, if not misleading, audio. I have never once heard anyone utter the words, “Oh, it’s so big” to me during the act of love making. I have also never used the term “love making” before tonight.

This video is from Fable 2, but it illustrates the point.

Click here to view the embedded video.

However, all of that is old news as Dragon Age: Origins includes a full on sex scene. Yes… a gay sex scene.

“Dragon Age” is the name given to the time period in which the game takes place. It was named so because, at the beginning of the age, dragons re-appeared in the world after being thought extinct. The game is not all about dragons, though of course dragons do play a role in the story. Dragons are rare and dangerous creatures, and their fantastical nature is evocative of what our game is all about – hence the title.

Click here to view the embedded video.

The video is pretty graphic for a game, although it doesn’t show anything. It does, however, rely on a lot of suggestion.

After watching the video several questions had been answered for me. I had long believed all elves to be bottoms and now I know.

However. I am left with one question?

Are all of the Elves in Dragon Age from the gayest part of Spain? If so… boo.

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I don’t buy the argument that people will, somehow, forget they are in an AR device and suddenly start murdering people like some deranged nut job, but I will admit that several hours of Mario Brothers leaves me feeling the urge to eat every mushroom I see and shit coins out of my ass. Then again, where else would one shit anything, if not the ass?

Extra points if you can name the music in the background.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Here is another video showing, what seems to be a prototype. I particuarly enjoy watching the passersby anbd teir responses. “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.”

Click here to view the embedded video.

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I don't recall any of the special forces team members being so... portly.

Nerd alert!

I have a feeling that plenty of you will have played some of these games in your many years of nerdome. Yes… there was a time before W.o.W, but let’s not speak of such horrible visions.

I bring to you this wonderful video of the top 50 worst voice overs in video game history. I felt there were a few on here that should have been included, the “all your base belong to us” being one of them. However, number 50 is one of the few that have stuck in my mind all of these years. In all truth, that game had so many bad voice over moments, I am surprised I had enough time to be scared in between all the laughing. Seriously, those were some horrible voice overs and even worse lines. I hope those voice actors had their full of Slim Jims before the day was over, because you know they didn’t get paid shit.

Enjoy.

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