Mac users take over Window’s window at Saks Fifth Avenue store. Mac still overpriced.

I have decided that for every Mac or Apple post I write, I am going to add “Mac still overpriced” at the end. This will be my personal rallying cry against the computer company and its over the top pricing tiers. Most of you know that I am neither a Mac or Windows fan and I use what I can afford (Gateway anyone?) but when I see nerds get hard over their computer system of choice, something in me breaks.

I love nerds and all, but for some reason this fan boy shit makes me want to take off my pants and pee in someones face. (No, I am not taking requests)

Mac lovers and users have joined in harmony to hijack a Windows 7 based holiday display window at Saks Fifth Avenue in New York. The display includes a big computer monitor which displays the tweets of anyone who uses the hash tag #holidaywindows. First off… this was the stupidest idea in the world, considering no one was set up to read the incoming tweets. I am assuming Microsoft was smart enough to implement a system before hand, that would monitor and delete nefarious tweets, but it probably crashed.

With a free for all just waiting to happen, Mac users took to their twitters or twattles (whatever the hell that crap is called) and bombarded the Windows 7 display with a steam of pro Mac messages.

Ha… very clever. I can’t argue with the fact that Windows is a much less stable and shitty operating system, when compared to a Mac. However, Windows 7 has been a fresh of breath air for me. It came pre installed with my new laptop and although I have two BSOD already, I blame those on the Gateway. Windows also allows me a lot more customization and I never have to worry about whether or not a program, or file, will be compatible with it. That being said, I would gladly purchase an Apple machine for editing and design, if I didn’t have to sell my nuts for a decent entry level machine.

I could very well be a cheap bastard, but paying $1,700 for that pretty logo is about as logical as looking at naked ladies.

Gross

So.. the battle continues. Windows, Mac, you have both let me down and I am ashamed of both of you. Mac, go sit in the corner and get off your diamond throne and Windows, see a therapist.

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Augmented Reality coming to you soon. Grab a bat and beat some hookers!

Marc Owens’s augmented reality project “Avatar Machine” puts its users in VR helmets that display the world around them as though they were playing a third-person game, so that their own body is seen from behind. Owens theorizes that “The system potentially allows for a diminished sense of social responsibility, and could lead the user to demonstrate behaviors normally reserved for the gaming environment.”

I don’t buy the argument that people will, somehow, forget they are in an AR device and suddenly start murdering people like some deranged nut job, but I will admit that several hours of Mario Brothers leaves me feeling the urge to eat every mushroom I see and shit coins out of my ass. Then again, where else would one shit anything, if not the ass?

Extra points if you can name the music in the background.

Here is another video showing, what seems to be a prototype. I particuarly enjoy watching the passersby anbd teir responses. “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.”

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Microsoft vs. Apple

“Who would you rather sleep with?”

So we all know there are some pretty amazing tech gadgets on the horizon. Apple fan boys are practically creaming over the rumored Mac tablet, but lately rumors of a new tablet have emerged. Has anyone else heard of the Microsoft Courier? While none of these machines actually exists, I thought it would be fun to do a side-by-side comparison anyway.

What has made us so hard about the Mac tablet? This bad boy is said to completely blow away all competition. With rumors of models with and without 3G connectivity, price points from $600.00 to $1000.00 and an integrated web cam so you can handle yourself as well as the tablet. What’s not to like? There are also rumors that Apple has been talking to quite a few publishers about digital ink. Some speculate this tablet will be nothing more then a glorified e-reader while others think it could completely destroy the netbook market. Apple is famous for their secrecy, so the Mac Tablet is really anyone’s guess.

On the flip side, Microsoft delivers us the Courier videos. If you have not seen this beauty in action, please check out the link below.

Microsoft has said the courier is in product development at the moment, but what a concept. Dual screens that react to a pen, and your able to hand write your notes? This completely blows away the idea of a virtual keyboard. With the ability to surf the Internet and paste clippings into whatever you’re working on, projects become a snap. There is also a camera for taking pictures, and it folds up into a much smaller easier to carry notebook shape. Should Microsoft release this product, I can see it in college classrooms everywhere.

No matter who blows you best, both Microsoft and Apple are sure to wow their fans this year. Bring on 2010 and all the gadgets that come with!

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Scientists create one of the Deathly Hallows.

It’s about time that scientists start doing something important with all that money. Sure, cures for cancer and stem cell research are all fine and dandy, but I fail to see how Christopher Reeve’s ability to walk has anything to do with my right to hide in the shower room at the gym unnoticed. Oh you think that’s sick? I will tell you what’s sick. All of you well built and in shape douche bags walking around making me feel bad about my body and plantain shaped man boobs. If I lack the will to get to the gym every night to alter my body to a form more visually pleasing, is it so wrong for me to replace exercise with perversity while lurking in the darkness of the 24 Hour fitness steam room?

You know what? Change of subject… I can feel several hundred people judging me at once.

Scientists have been working on this for a while and every few months it appears in the news again as if it was something we hadn’t heard of. Oddly enough, there is always a Harry Potter invisibility cloak included in these news reports. I refuse to break that trend.

 

The idea centres on the use of a ‘metamaterial’ surface, which tricks the eye into thinking an item is not there by bending light away as it reflects from the source.

Metamaterials are created by altering the internal structure of existing materials using complex nanoscale patterns to change their properties.Imperial College London and the University of Southampton have been awarded the grant from The Leverhulme Trust for further research in the field.

At present objects can be made invisible to larger wavelengths such as radar but not to smaller wavelengths like light.

Scientists hope to create materials which force light to flow around the object masking it from the human eye and essentially making it invisible.

Surfaces can be made to manipulate all forms of radiation such as light, microwaves and terahertz radiation leading to potential uses in medicine, security and data communications.

Metamaterials could also be used to build a “perfect lens” microscope to view particles smaller than the wavelength of light used to view them.

Read the entire article at The Telegraph.

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There’s a lawsuit for that.

What would the Christmas season be without a knock down drag out fight? A failure that’s what! Nothing warms our hearts better than the sound of falling prices, lawsuits, and mud slinging. Never one to disappoint, Verizon started early this year. If you haven’t seen the commercials yet you probably live under a rock, but just in case here’s a link to the one that started it all.

Taking a note from the iPhone ads touting “There’s an app for that,” Verizon’s spin off “There’s a map for that” hit our TV’s early October. The ads feature happy Verizon users surfing the 3g network in contrast to the not so happy iPhone zombie shaking his head as a map displaying poor coverage hovers above. My favorite so far is the “Blue Christmas” ad.

What’s not to love about this commercial? As anyone with an iPhone will tell you, when the 3G signal drops you can forget using that phone for anything more then making calls. Even in Los Angeles my very own iPhone has forsaken me. One of the largest metropolitan cities in the continental United States and I can’t get a good 3G signal? Come on AT&T, I thought we were buds? All laughing aside AT&T has launched a law suit claiming Verizon is trying to fool viewers into thinking they can’t use ATT&T services outside of 3G coverage areas. While it is true, AT&T does have 2G coverage, have you tried making a call on the 2G network recently? “Can you hear me now,” I didn’t think so. How about instead of spending money on lawsuits, why not just update your 3G coverage and drop the 2G? Would that really be so hard AT&T? Verizon didn’t think so… In response to the lawsuit Verizon has changed the ads at the behest of AT&T, editing them to remove the phrase “out of touch” and adding a “Voice and data services available outside of 3G areas” in small print at the end. Apparently this wasn’t enough for AT&T who still insists the ad will confuse non-technical viewers. I don’t think Verizon cares much about the lawsuit, just this evening I saw an advertisement that I found quite amusing.

Is there an app for that AT&T?

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Apple is too expensive. See Microsoft? It’s really easy.

Microsoft always seems to be a decade behind the trend. They have revolutionized the world with their technologies, but when it comes to pop culture or cultural memes, they always play the part of that obnoxious guy at the party who whips out his phone to show you ‘Chocolate Rain”, completely unaware that everyone already saw it two years ago and they don’t give a shit.

Microsoft ads have always been odd, awkward or just plain stupid. I won’t even go into great detail about the entire Jerry Seinfeld fiasco. Seriously, what the hell were they thinking? That ad campaign made me hate white people with an undying passion to the point that I would beat myself at night. Take that crackers!

Microsoft finally seemed to capitalize on some common sense when they started pointing out how ridiculously over priced Apple products were, but after doing that for a short while they decided to go with their “Windows 7 was my idea” campaign. I first thought that they had made a horrible advertising decision and had abandoned the one major thing that sparks product movement in a slow economy, price. Yet, I just may have been wrong. You see, when Windows 7 fails, as I am sure it will, it won’t be Microsoft’s fault.

It will be this assholes.

 

Can you imagine the flash mobs that will chase this guy around?

‘I was working on my script for The Return of E.T at the local Starbucks, when your operating system randomly crashed and deleted all of my work! I will never be a famous director now!”

You are screwed Eric, totally screwed. (I am sure you are wondering why I chose to name this guy Eric and it has everything to do with racial sensitivity. If I had named him Tyrone, the ACLU would have been after me as well as a gaggle of Erykah Badu fans.)

In the spirit of racial harmony, I also blame this chick, who I am sure is named something terribly white like Erin Cook. Erin Cook is not only responsible for the creation of Windows 7, but by the look of her face, she is also suffering from hard gas.

 

So what could Microsoft have done in place of these racially offensive diarrhea ads?

“APPLE IS OVER PRICED!”

Yeah, yeah, I am sure I just lost about 100 Facebook friends, but it’s the honest truth. Yes, Apple is pretty and they make a beautiful machine and they don’t have any of those pesky virus problems that often plague every PC I touch. They tend to be great for creative types and they even make you look hip and cool by association, but they are way over priced. I can purchase the SAME exact computing power on a PC for a third of the price that Apple can offer me.

Now, I am not a fan of either PC or Mac as I honestly think they both have their pros and cons. Neither system has given me a trouble free run and I have had just as many PCs crash on me as I have Macs. You also have to worry about the douchebag factor. It is tragically hip to own an Apple computer at the moment, even if you have no use for it. I can not tell you how many skinny emo girls I know that own amazing systems, yet use them for little more than double clicking their mouse to The Jonas Brothers website or trying to figure out which of their teenage crushes isn’t queer. (I am looking at you Elijah Wood… mainly cause you are so damned dreamy).

These girls don’t need a Mac, they don’t even need an Internet enabled phone and could get the same amount of use out of an empty shoebox and a rats head. However, being that Mac is the hip thing, Erika Middlestead just HAS to have one. So it seems I can either dole out $1,500.00 for a useless Dell or thrice the price and risk looking like a coffee shop frequenting hipster. Blarg.

Check out this video montage from Slate and judge for yourself the poorly constructed media campaign that has been Microsoft.

P.S. Apple, if you would please approve my credit card application, I will be more than happy to buy one of your over priced machines. I have my skinny jeans all ready to go!

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A new Hero emerges!

 

Have you ever held something that felt like it was made for you, something that felt as if it were crafted to fit in your hand? Have you ever had something that fit your personality so perfectly you can’t remember life without it? Can you imagine all of this in a cell phone? Neither could I, then I was asked to review the new HTC Hero from Sprint.

It’s hard to describe the feeling of this phone. It’s neither too big nor too small. The first thing to jump out at you is how solid this phone feels. It’s amazing. No creaking plastic, gaps in the seams, or easily scratched surfaces. I fell in love with its brushed aluminum casing almost immediately. But there is so much more then its sleek exterior is letting on.

What makes this phone feel so perfect, like you can’t live without it? The Google Android system it comes loaded with is fully customizable.  From the home screen to the way the Icons look, you can customize every aspect of this phone to truly fit your personality. Should you decided to be more of a Jock than the Shy guy next-door, the phone can switch to match your personality.  Truly incredible, and not something many phones offer.

The other thing I liked about this phone is its blazing fast internet. Without a doubt this phone takes full advantage of the Sprint 3g network. I was able to make changes to my OpenTable reservation while stuck in Los Angeles traffic and check my Facebook updates in a matter of seconds. To a busy professional on the go, this becomes quite important. This phone quickly becomes your personal assistant, delivering your e-mail and your schedule at the touch of a button.

Did I mention this phone is completely touch screen? Like other phones out there its crystal clear display is great for video but more then that, its very responsive. Not once did I have a problem typing a text message or touching any of the icons… and I have large hands and clumsy thumbs!

So let’s talk app store. Granted it’s just starting out, but the Android store has more apps then this user knew what to do with.  There were apps to further customize your interface, office to go, and tons of games. The store is easy to use and the installation of new programs was very quick and easy.

Although the Hero is a very strong phone with some amazing features, it does have its faults.  My main complaint is, how can you make a phone so powerful and leave out the one feature most users are screaming for, a pull out keyboard. Granted the onscreen keyboard is very responsive and the track ball was a joy to use, it would have been nice to have the option for some real finger on key action. My other complaint: hitting the end call button doesn’t close the application, it puts the phone to sleep. There was a learning curve for this and the first day was a bit aggravating.

One last thought to leave you with, when you get a phone call from your annoying aunt, simply turn the phone over on it’s screen and it stops ringing. How’s that for call screening?

I would give the Hero a solid 8 out of 10 stars. There is room for improvement like with any phone, but HTC, Google, Sprint and Android have crafted a great phone that is sure to keep even the shortest attention span busy for hours on end.

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Tell your facebook friends to “suck it”

Well, we have all seen the obnoxious groups complaining that Facebook lacks a “dislike” function, but with a new Firefox Plugin, you can now tell your friends that their status update or new picture sucks balls.

We all have friends that post inane or annoying comments, photos, or videos on Facebook. Sure, we can hide their content, but more and more Facebookers are looking for a dislike option to visually show their disapproval.

You can download the plug in here or read the full article here.

The only catch to this new option is that your friends have to have the plugin installed in order to see your disapproval.

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