Pirates Attack ‘S.S. Facebook’

So, Facebook is at the center of controversy yet again.  This time, not specifically for it’s privacy settings at the present… but more so for it’s privacy settings in the past.  A web-pirate named Ron Bowes had designed a code that downloaded every single bit of information that was (at the time he ran the code) public.  He put that information into a downloadable file and posted it online.  So, no matter how you set your security settings today, whatever they were at that time will be reflected in your information what is available to download.  That’s what’s up.

Here’s what I think about it.  “I don’t give a shit.”  I’ve never really been worried about my information on Facebook because I’ve never posted anything about myself worth compromising.  I’ve never had my address or Phone Number posted anywhere.  And when my college e-mail address login expired, I set up a whole new alternate e-mail address just for Facebook… because e-mail is free and I felt like doing it.  I never check that e-mail as it is just for Facebook.  So, if people are spamming it or giving it out, it makes no difference to me.

That doesn’t really leave much for public-view.  Now, if people are sooooo determined to find out the fact that my interests include Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Harry Potter, I just find that to be a horrible waste of time.  But kudos for taking an interest!

Here’s my advice to you, Facebooker:  Don’t post anything on Facebook that you might one day be ashamed of.  Ie. Phone Numbers, Addresses, Active E-mails, etc.  And while we’re on the subject:  Keep your “pucker face,” “nude,” & “drunk-mess” pictures away from the digital world.  We will find them and sell them for profit… then your children will find them years (or months, depending on how easily you settle) down the road and they will have a lot more awkward questions for you.

I realize that, right now, some of you have the “oh shit” look on your face because you’ve just now realized that you haven’t detagged yourself from those pictures in Vegas and you’ve just applied for a job at a well-to-do Marketing firm. Well… Best of Luck!

p.s. Can’t wait to see the movie!”

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Queers have bad taste – Chapter 1

I get flack all the time for being an outsider of sorts among my gay friends and the community as a whole. To be honest, I find a large part of what is considered “gay culture” to be crap. I don’t mean crap as in something old and useless that can be thrown away, I mean actual shit. I am such a dick.

I remember when Keisha came out and sang that really popular song about smelling and what not, so many of my gay friends were falling over themselves with awe. There is one thing I have noticed among these types of performances, the sluttier, the trashier, the more of an overt sexual train wreck, the better. Often times, the media in question doesn’t even have to be produced well or have a lot of quality put into it, the mere presence of a gay person or gay theme grants it an instant pass. I am sure at this point you are wondering why I even care and to that I have 3 words.

“Gay themed films”

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“I want to go to there”

I have a feeling this video pisses off starving people all over the world. Not only do we as Americans tend to be FUPA queens, but we will also eat nearly anything as long as it is deep fried or appears on a list of Oprah’s favorite things.  In fact, things are so good here in America, that even our animals eat better than the people of Malawi. However, considering the crap they are putting that gay couple through, I am tempted to say this cat is more deserving of a magical food adventure.

This Friskies commercials graces my screen every hour or so, it centers me, brings me calm and giddy excitement. This lucky cat is literally going on a journey to delicious and beyond. Imagine jumping through a magical portal, to be greeted by delectable dancing turkeys who can’t wait to be eaten. Then, just when you think things couldn’t get better, Fish Boat appears and whisks the cat away to an island where drumming chickens roll out the red carpet for him. Finally, as if to tempt the senses with impending overload, the cat gets to come back home where a delicious can of turkey squirt is waiting for him. I can think of worse ways to end the day.

Best video ever! Suck it Malawi.

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Stuff White People Like

www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com

This website is hilarious and it can also be a life saver if, during the holidays, you find yourself struggling to find that perfect gift for one of your uptight WASP relative(s).  It list some of the more trademark items on a stereotypical white person’s wish list, my personal favorite being “Pea coats” and “Asian girls.”

Check out the full list here.

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Tonight Show Performs Mormon Christmas Carol for Orrin Hatch

Hallelujah!  Utah’s Republican Senator, Orrin Hatch, has bestowed to the American public the gift of song!  Hatch, who just so happens to be a devout Mormon, tore up the charts this week with “8 Days Of Hanukkah” (watch below) a Christmas carol styled ditty for the Jewish community.

Not to be outdone in the festive spirit of the season, The Tonight Show’s Max Weinberg decided to return the favor and write a holiday song aimed specifically at Mormons starring the Mormon Tapper-nacle Choir.

Praise Jesus!  It truly is a Christmawanzakkah miracle!

P.S. Was anyone else bummed out after finding out Katherine Heigl is Mormon?

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“I Need A Handjob!”: The best commerical for the simplest product ever!

Handjob! Is the multi-grip system that everyone’s talking about! Are you feeling tired? Frustrated? Overwhelmed? Sounds like you need a Handjob!

Beware of sloppy imitations.  You could expect to pay up to $40 elsewhere.  But right now, you can experience all the pleasure and convenience of a genuine Handjob! for yourself for the low, low price of just $4.95 plus shipping and handling.

BUT WAIT!  Order now and receive a second Handjob! absolutely FREE!  That’s two Handjobs! for under 5 bucks!  You can’t beat it!  Keep one for yourself and give one to a friend…or keep them both! We won’t tell!

Click the “ORDER NOW” button to get yours! And remember, nothing says “I like you” this holiday season quite like the gift of a HandJob!

Handjob!  You deserve it!

The best part of this is it’s a real product.

The “Hand Job” which you can purchase here aids in tasks such as opening bottle tops and jars by gripping to the lid. The creators decided that despite the nature of the item, they’d give it a sexual name and make a hilarious and sexually suggestive ad in hopes that it would go viral.  Obviously it worked.  The ad is hilarious and definitely does its job.  I’m gonna get me a Handjob!

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Shazaam + Spandex + Gem Sweaters = Leslie Hall

I have been watching and following Leslie Hall for nearly two years now and the woman never ceases to amaze me. She is hilarious, bold and unapologetic, never missing a chance to flaunt her persona and take you along for the ride. Born in Ames, Iowa and younger than me (and much more successful… cut cut), she has been an oddball, nerd and Queen of all Gems for nearly a decade. She even has a wikipedia page. Of course… I have a Wikipedia page myself and if you care to check it out, feel free.

I even came across a Lady Gaga vs.  Leslie Hall remix that isn’t entirely too bad. I am not usually a fan of the “vs” crap, but hearing “Just Dance” played over “Gold Pants” makes me want to cut off my bits and eat them. Don’t judge me.

More pictures of the wonderful Leslie and a few of her best videos, after the jump.

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Auto Tune your Facebook status!

Sony and Facebook have collaborated to help you usher in the last few moments of  Auto Tune’s popularity. As this tired and overdone Internet meme reaches it’s final relevant countdown, you can now Auto Tune your Facebook status. The results are pretty weak and it doesn’t always sound the way it should, but it makes for an enjoyable escape from your job… That is if you are lucky enough to still have a job. In which cause, I say screw you.

Head on over here to give it a try. If you find out your computerized voice isn’t saying your words correctly, try spelling them phonetically and if you don’t know what phonetically means, why the shit are you on my blog?

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