It’s not racism, if you’re ugly.

Can we please stop screaming racism when someone expresses they are not attracted to people of a particular ethnicity?

I just finished reading an article from a gay Asian man (gaysian?),upset because white and Hispanic men are not often times attracted to him. A two page pity party about euro centric standards of beauty taking over the gay community and how he had had enough of it, ensued. Rawrrr!

It wasn’t the due to the fact that he was visibly unattractive or just not physically the type of those particular men, it was obviously because he was Asian and the world was engaged in a secret plot with Ralph Lauren, designed to make him feel ugly. Paranoid much?

He honestly thinks that, because the gay advertising world doesn’t place enough Asian models in their ads, that this somehow influences people to suddenly find Asian men unattractive? It’s magic! It’s odd too, because I see images of skinny twinks all the time and I wouldn’t make out with a twink with Charlie Crist’s lips.

When was the last time you found yourself attracted to an entire race of people, because some model in some random magazine filled out his boxers nicely? That’s like hating scientologists, but then wanting to bone the whole cult, because you thought Gionvanni Ribisi looked hot as a stuffed animal in “The Other Sister.” (Which he totally did)  Or suddenly being overtaken by the urge to become homosexual because you saw how well I filled out a pair of jeans.

Please. You know I fill them out well.

The majority of gay magazines are dripping with images of twinky, starving, emaciated men (of all races) and yet I have somehow never found myself attracted to walking skeletons. Apparently I am the only person who derives my sexual attraction from my own personal choices, as it seems every other gay man in the world is forced to find only the men in gay magazines as acceptable standards of beauty. Apparently, my attraction to white and Hispanic men is based on repressed racism and it has nothing to do at all with the fact that I just like lighter skin and curly pubic hair. Great, for all my civil rights struggles, I come to find I am a racist because I don’t want to bone someone from every continent. It’s a small world after all.

The writer goes on to claim he is going to join his” queer Asian brothers in arms” and fight against the racism of the gay community and spark a revolution. All the while, reminding everyone that he is no longer dating guys based entirely on whether or not they are white. So, in other words, it’s OK for him to blatantly turn away men because of their skin color, but not OK for you or I to have a physical preference.

At this point I had to step away from the computer and look out the window, making sure the earth was still in fact rotating around the sun and not this man’s head.

I am also an ass man, should I slap myself every time someone without an ass hits on me and I graciously decline? Assicist!

I find myself attracted to deaf and blind folks, so does that mean I am reverse racist? No no, because those things are not based on race, they run the whole gamut. Kind of like… gee I don’t know… SEXUAL ATTRACTION? (Do you see how I put that in caps there? That’s how you know it was super serious.)

So now I am a sexist because I don’t find woman attractive, racist because I don’t like Asian guys, insensitive because I don’t like obese men, warped by pop culture because I find white men attractive and perverted because I like my men with a big ass and muscles. I can not even begin to imagine my therapy.

So after all of this, I came to the conclusion that this is not even related to racism, not even on a fundamental level. It’s actually quite simple. This guy was probably not that attractive, or to put it bluntly, he was ugly. Its OK dude, I get it. I have mediocre skin, some extra weight on me and my beard grows half ass-ed, but that doesn’t mean I am entitled to call everyone a racist because they don’t want to fuck my whiteness. Maybe its OK to be ugly, or just not everyone’s cup of tea.

Every time someone pulls out this nonsense, the ACTUAL acts of racism loose all of their power. You want something to bitch about?

Bitch about the fact that I never see people like me in magazines, people with massive eyebrows and man tits. Or better yet, get over yourself.

Burn bitch… burn.

read more

Facebook Etiquette – Don’t delete shit

Something has been irking me the last few days and no, it’s doesn’t relate to starving children. If they were really that hungry, they could eat their friends. Everyone knows that children are full of delicious vitamins and meats.

What has been on my mind as of late, is etiquette in the face of those you disagree with. Now, I am not talking about being sarcastic or putting someone in their place with facts or humor, I am simply referring to the act of letting others disagree. I could go on for hours about the many different forms of argument and debate and when sarcasm, humor or cold facts are best applied, but that’s boring as shit and reading is for nerds.

What ever happened to letting someone disagree with you and giving them the courtesy to do such a thing? I am well aware that there are certain things that we can not allow a disagreement on. Rape, Slavery, Racism and Intolerance – all good subjects when one is looking for a way to say, “Sorry, there is no disagreement allowed on this, these things are wrong and you are a disgusting pig person for defending them.”

However, I am speaking of broad and lofty things like politics and policy. When did we start deleting the comments of others, because they said something we disagreed with. Berate them, insult their intelligence and beat them down with facts… sure, but delete their comments out right? Or what about comments that are not even a form of disagreement, but a joke? We all have the co worker or friend who posts the most vulgar things on their Facebook pages, ranging from how they like to screw to which co workers they would fist, but when you post a sexual joke on their wall, they shit their pants. (Then they post a note about the consistency of their shit). All of a sudden all of the personal and over the line crap that they posted never existed and they attempt to scold you for being unprofessional on their Facebook wall, while three posts below their is a quiz about which kinds of balls they prefer to put in their mouths. Stop adding your co workers and family, if you don’t want people to see the person you really are. It really is that simple.

That’s social networking integrity for you.

I bring all of this up, because last week my father had posted a quiz on his Facebook page and it related to politics. The question was “Should President Obama shut down Fox News?” Right away, the question is a bait and switch for the easily angered. Not only does the president lack the power to do such a thing, but the man can barely pass a health care bill that most of us want, how in the world would he shut down America’s favorite circus act?

My dad had commented on this quiz, saying “No, but that doesn’t mean he won’t try.” As if telling the press pool he will not interview with Fox News, is the same as shutting down a multi billion dollar propaganda agency.

Some of his friends weighed in, made some jokes and even agreed with him, in typical “easily terrified Republican” fashion. However, one of his friends pointed out “how stupid the poll was and that is was obviously made to rile up irritable idiots”. I laughed and commented in return how we needed to stick together as a country and solve our problems, that there was no integrity in being upset about the fictional destruction of Fox News, while screaming about the Constitution, only to admit you did nothing when Bush ripped the Constitution in shreds and made no qualms about it. Needless to say, my comment was deleted within a few hours.

Now, keep in mind, I never said anything rude or attacked anyone. I just made a counter point. I figured, if you felt strongly enough to post something on your facebook page, then you should feel strongly enough about it to allow people the right to discuss it.

I love my father, even though we have never been close, but it frustrates me that as adults, we are unable to discuss matters without him shutting down the conversation.  Such is life and I have come to accept this. I suppose, that if I were not born gay and never bothered to attend college,(not because college makes you liberal, but because it opens your eyes to a whole new world of people and views) I may feel the same way. I would hope not, as that would be a very telling sign of my character.

Let this be a lesson to all of you! Don’t delete my comments or I will be forced to write a vaguely personal note about you on a blog that no one reads. You have been warned! Wink

UPDATE: It was my mother who deleted the comment, not my father. So apologies to him for assuming he was the only one with access to the account. The plot thickens…

UPDATE 2. I have removed my parents from my Facebook account to avoid further trickery and sneaky-ery. Yes, those are words.

read more

A look at Halloween’s passed

Halloween is fast approaching and every year I tell myself I am going to get in great shape and make some amazing costume, one that allows me to show off my freshly chiseled stomach and bulging biceps. Instead, I gorge my fat ass on Taco Bell and tell myself that tomorrow is the day I will start punishing my hideous body, all in the hopes that People magazine will tell me that I am pretty. Stars are not just like us, for none of them would ever allow themselves to become Earth orbiting bodies, as large as I, capable of devouring entire ethnic communities anywhere a Martin Luther King Blvd can be found.  Of course, tomorrow always comes and I find myself full of Taco Bell and the least likely to find a reason to go sit on the treadmill, while I admire the other in shape bodies, pretending to be stretching as I look their way.

Yeah… we get it. You’re skinny… asshole.

Being that I never seem to make any physical headway, I always decide to go as something that is expected to be hideous. A man, dressed as a woman.

Now we all know my dislike of drag queens on any other occasion, but I don’t consider a womanly costume, used for Halloween, as  a foray into drag. Even though, most of the time, such costumes are usually as ugly and tacky as drag queens tend to be. Yeah, I said it. Take that inclusiveness.

So this year, I have found the perfect costume, being that I could not gather the materials needed to make a Saron(You don’t even know what that is)  costume and everyone else was going as Max from WTWTA. I refuse to be THAT unoriginal, although the prospect of getting to sew my own costume was pretty enticing… and just when you thought I was all masculine and shit. Yeah, I like to sew.

So, without giving away any info on this years costume, let me give you a guided tour of Halloween costumes passed. Now, not all of them are woman. I think I went as mostly video game crap and nerd nonsense most of those years. However, as Taco Bell and I have become intertwined in a death spiral of mild sauce sexuality, curvaceous woman and dead things are all I dress up as of late.

I really am a catch… I swear.

“Patsy” from Absolutely Fabulous

Sadly, I don’t have all of the pictures from most of my Halloween costumes and naturally, I blame the Jews. Somewhere, in one of my moving boxes, there are mountains of pictures, all containing one hideous costumes after another. For now, enjoy the pictures below and feel free to be glad you have ever seen me nude.

read more

Music that made me – Duncan Sheik “Barely Breathing”

I have to say, that Duncan is probably my favorite singer in the world.  There is something about his voice and his music that makes my brain turn to overly emotional mush and I collapse into a memory induced coma. This song, in particular, reminds me of my early 20′s, when I was bouncing from house to house and had no idea if I was going to make it to the next year. There are going to be a lot more songs from him on this blog o’mine, so get used to it, assholes.

It also doesn’t hurt that he is incredibly good looking. I might have a small crush on him, but it’s not in one of those gay ways either… sheesh. Stop trying to put me in your little boxes!

I also had the amazing opportunity to meet him, not once, but twice. I was thin the first time I met him and a fat cow the second time. It was OK though, cause he got fat too. You know how they say girls start to share the same cycles when they live together long enough? The same can be said about people who are secretly in love, but instead of a period, we just get really fat.

Oh joy.

In this last image, my friend Lydia was being playfully yelled at by Duncan, because her mind had been overtaken by monkeys and the concept of a camera had escaped her. She took the first image with the lens cap on, the second without the flash and the third was set to video. I have a video somewhere of Duncan Sheik saying, “God Lydia, what is wrong with you? How hard is is to take a photo?” We all laughed, to which she replied, “Oh no, Duncan Sheik is yelling at me:”

He was bitch, he was.

read more

Balloon Boy’s mother admits, “Yes, I am an idiot.”

I am going to file this under, “A dduuuurrrrrr.” If you are unaware as to how those letters sound when spoken, please email me and I will call you to perform them over the phone for you.

DENVER — The mother of the 6-year-old boy once feared missing inside a runaway helium balloon admitted the whole saga was a hoax, according to court documents released Friday.

Mayumi Heene told sheriff’s deputies that she and her husband Richard “knew all along that Falcon was hiding in the residence” in Fort Collins, according to an affidavit used to get a search warrant for the home.

She allegedly told investigators the incident was a hoax meant to make them more marketable to the media.

I don’t watch much television, so I had no idea that this balloon business was taking over the world and even less knowledge that CNN was treating it like the start of world war 3. After seeing this…

I am not surprised that their parents are being considered for child abuse and even less surprised that their kid upchucked on national TV. I too, would be moved to sickness, if my mother played carousel guitar as shitty as theirs did. I dare you to watch that video, her musical skills are just plain awful.

I didn’t follow this story, but when I see stories like this, one thing crosses my mind. If this had been two same sex parents, the rest of us would be beaten and trafficked into internment camps for endangering the beautiful innocence of a child. One of the boys in the video raps about hitting “faggots with a rock” or something along those lines. I am assuming they felt their story was believable because, what better place to hit faggots with rocks… than a floating silvery balloon traipsing gayly through the clouds?Some of you know several queers that would see something that shiny in the sky and be overcome with a vague sense of joy, completely making them immobile and therefor easy targets. I know this because, I too, have been made powerless by the odd jewel or shimmering glitter.

The best part was that they did all this to prove how marketable they were as a family. I think they did a great job.

We should all stayed tuned for Fox’s newest family sitcom.

“The Dipshits and their Magical Balloon -Oh, hey look, a faggot.” Long title? Sure. However, this is going to be better than Titus was and I know you all loved that show.

Read the full article, originally written by the AP

read more

I am the revolutionist

I am the revolutionist

I am the silence of night that wakes your ears to my rhythm, a whisper, propagation -  reminiscent of what’s given

I am the thread in a tapestry woven purely of intention, a creation, a man set on sickle-celled ascension.

From my lips thus speak the words that construct a demise, to realize one plan to actualize

My proximity to the war is not as close as the fray,  as I sit , I pray, unmoved by the lay – …believers set a tone in the song I cant sing, so high above reason it’s still the one thing, the one true word knowledge can not consume, setting fire to the wall while building the room

Bullets and bread loafs, bodies and Beemer’s, ducking past the masses of the faithful and their fluid in-betweeners

In conscious apologies, you’ll raise never more, the pitted half pruned figure of the dead boy next door.

Truly, how cruelly did my heart pluck strings asunder, echoing such stentorian versus that they flavored of thunder

All to soon a time for testing, for the besting of rhyme, within objections of resting in the chorus of lines

Drip, crush, rip a little, pulling tops from within the riddle, carving out best, which lays high, to bring the bottom to the middle.

read more

Music that made me – Tori Amos “Bouncing off clouds”

I believe that I may have more music than god and considering I don’t believe in god, that’s a lot of music. Don’t try and figure out the logic of that statement, it doesn’t exist. Whatever the case, I find myself listening to music nearly all day long. Yes, yes I am aware that most people listen to a lot of music and I am not trying to be one of those obnoxious douchebags that talk about music as if they are the only one who has ever discovered it. There is a word for people like that and its Hipsters.

Shudder… I hate hipsters.

Anyway, I digress.

I figured it would be fun to start inserting music into the blog, music that has been a part of my life. These are songs that have had a lot of impact on my life or have been there when I was going through something tough, like a break up or really hard gas. Some of them are cheesy, some of them are wordy, but they are all and above songs that have helped form the person I am today. Except Depeche Mode, screw those feisty queers.

This is one of my favorite Tori Amos songs, of which I have many. American Doll Posse did not turn out to be one of my favorite albums, but this song makes my diggly bits tingle. Don’t ask me what a dingly bit is, of that I have no idea.

read more

8- The Mormon Proposition

Salt Lake Shitty, Utah

A new film, entitled “8- The Mormon Proposition”, attempts to shed some light on the controversial involvement of the Mormon church and proposition 8. The film was directed by Reed Cowan of David v. Goliath Productions and has already been submitted for consideration at Sundance.

It will probably be many years before we see the full extent of the involvement of the Mormon church, but there is no denying that they are seeing the fruits of their labor at this very moment. There has been an increasing tide of anger and push-back towards the Mormon church and it’s not solely from LGBT camps. Having many Mormon friends myself, I often wonder how these past events will end up affecting them and their places of worship. As history continues to push towards equality, what will its view of such a divisive organization be? It wasn’t so long ago that they suffered a public relations disaster in the form of their racist views on which ethnicities were allowed to serve in the priesthood. Amazingly, in the face of public pressure, they claimed that God realized that being a racist blood fart was a bad idea and was even worse for the church. I suppose God realized how hard it was to fill the pews when they were spiritually lynching people from the pulpit.

It truly is odd how often deities are ignorant, when it comes to compassion for their own creations.

“8 – The Mormon Proposition”

For those of you who are Facebook inclined, there is also a fan page that contains further information. If you wish to see this film, I suggest signing up. I suggest it with much suggestitude.

“8″ Facebook group

We must stay focused and get to the bottom of this. The Mormon church is rolling in money and if any of that freely given cash was obtained or used illegally, we need to show them the hard end of the IRS’ boot. On top of that, have any of you ever been inside on of their churches? Tackkkyyyyy….

read more