Iceland laughs at our attempts to pronounce their stupid drunk language.

Eyjafjallajokull

Let me preface this by saying, “I love Iceland and Bjork is just swell.”

Now that we have put that behind us, it’s time to laugh at the world and it’s attempts to pronounce the volcano that recently erupted in Iceland. I have seen this thing written down and  it sounds like someone was trying to transcribe the sound a whore makes after performing fellatio on 100 different men in a short period of time. Imagine it, a court stenographer sitting quietly trying to type the very sound that would fall from those exhausted lips.

That is just nasty.

In all fairness, the name of this volcano is hideous and it would be more fair to laugh at the people who named it than those who can’t pronounce it. It’s the same thing as dressing up in drag and creating a gaudy character out of it, then mocking your friends because they make prettier women than you do. It’s not them that failed, it’s you. It’s you Iceland. Watch the video here.

Iranian student calls out supreme leader

Iran has a long standing taboo when it comes to criticising the supreme leader, but it seems that recent tensions between those in charge and the public are beginning to come to a head. Long has it been considered improper to openly criticize Iran’s higher authority, which can lead to prison time, if the offense is considered worthy of such an action. That, however, did not stop Mahmoud Vahadnia from standing up to the unpopular leader and directly asking why it was that everyone was so afraid of him. He went on to question the leaders roll in the presidential election and his involvement in the deaths of election protesters.

BEIRUT — An unassuming college math student has become an unlikely hero to many in Iran for daring to criticize the country’s most powerful man to his face.

Mahmoud Vahidnia has received an outpouring of support from government opponents for the challenge – unprecedented in a country where insulting supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei is a crime punishable by prison.

Perhaps most surprising, the young math whiz has so far suffered no repercussions from the confrontation at a question-and-answer session between Khamenei and students at Tehran’s Sharif Technical University.

In fact, Iran’s clerical leadership appears to be touting the incident as a sign of its tolerance – so much so that some Iranians at first believed the 20-minute exchange was staged by the government, though opposition commentators are now convinced Vahidnia was the real thing.

It wasn’t long ago that the people of Iran stood up and fought back against their government, protesting what they felt was an illegal and unlawful election of current president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

As it stands now, Vahidnia is being heralded as a hero and an inspiration for standing up to Iran’s hard line regime. For the time being, he has been allowed to speak and no repercussions have befallen him. I wish this young man the best of luck in this and wonder just how massive his cojones must be.

If Apple were run by Orwell – iWatch

OK first off, before you read anything else, just scroll down and look at the eyes on the crazy woman who has been frozen, in time memorial, on that flash player screen. I don’t know if this was accidental or if they knew, just how creepy this ad was and then decided, “Eh, what the hell.  Add some more bat shit crazy to the mix. Go ahead and put Erika’s, big ol Gollum eyes as the default screen for the video.” (I assume her name is Erika, because every Erika I know has massive downe syndrome eyes.)

Nothing says, “I protect my community” like a woman who looks like she is about to lead you into the den of a massive spider, in the hopes of stealing your precious ring. Seriously, this woman’s eyes can see through time and space… while they are closed.

The LAPD is TRYING (key word) to create an environment, where people feel free and helpful by keeping an eye open for curious and out of place occurrences. As an Angelino, I can tell you that such a broad base for reporting will net half of the city and most all of West Hollywood. Especially that park by the library. I have seen more crazy things going on in that park, than anywhere else. Somewhere behind all those bushes, full of drunk peoples piss, is a terrorist plot waiting to happen.

The problem with this ad is that, besides coming off creepy, it makes the city look like a neurotic, paranoid pool of suspicious nuts. Imagine a city full of my grandmother. It was only 3 weeks ago that she called my mothers phone and instantly starting the conversation with, “Rape, Robbery and Murder, they are on the way.” All because she saw kids “doing the marijuana” outside her house. With this type of paranoid nuttery, everyone is going to find themselves on the boot end of an over zealous department of Homeland Security. I am looking at you Janet Naploeania… that’s how her name is spelled, right?

I won’t even venture a guess as to how this will effect my nightly runs by the courthouse, dressed head to toe in my bee keeper suit, practicing my yodeling.  I feel sorry for any Muslims who own a bomb delivery service, you are totally screwed…. and it won’t be by 72 woman.

Also, what’s with the blur placed around everyone’s head? I didn’t think that the background was so busy, as to warrant the need to edit it to draw more attention to the crazy placed 3 feet in front of the camera. No, no, nothing about this is right at all.