The wacky side of racism.

It is a sad day indeed when a people have lost their sense of humor and ability to take a good ribbing. I have noticed, that with the rise of super politically correct ideals, things like humor and sarcasm are often labeled incorrectly as some sort of ism. Simple jokes and off color remarks now require in depth therapy and city wide sensitivity seminars, removing actual acts of racism, sexism or homophobia from our radar. This was illustrated perfectly when I came across an article on the Bilerico Project several months ago. I don’t read the Bilerico project often because their writers tend to come off extremist and very degrading of anyone who is not a black transsexual with a club foot. Never the less, a blogger had written this long story about the movie Bruno and lamented that now his neighbors were calling him Bruno, because he shared typically feminine qualities with the character. The entire article was screaming about oppression and an evil Hollywood system that made cruel stereotypes about gay people that were unfounded in reality.  He even went as far as to blame Sacha Baron Cohen for making his life harder.

I wanted to crawl through the computer, pinch him on the nose and tell him to calm down and stop being such an overly emotional faggot. (I can say that word since I have gay friends and my bf is gay, so we are cool, right?)

This entire piece was one big pity party and it wasn’t something I hadn’t seen before. As gays and lesbians become more and more accepted into society, our political loses create an atmosphere in which we are drawn to the conclusion that every joke or insult is meant to rip and tear, as opposed to simply being the innocent jokes that they are. How could this guy claim that Bruno was creating unrealistic stereotypes when this man obviously embodied some of them? So you’re a flamboyant queen, who cares? Wear your mannerisms with pride.

But no, not this guy. Much like the man crying racism because people were not attracted to him, this guy was a perpetual victim and the world was out to get him. It was somewhat disheartening. Of course, when I was discussing this with him and giving him my point of view, he then turned on me, assured I was attacking him and was actually a conservative bible thumper sent out to destroy his blog post.

After that I lost all pity for the guy and just wished him a painful night of hard gas.

So, at this point you are probably asking, “What the hell does this have to do with racism you fat bastard?” You really are rude… you know that?

Here is what this has to do with racism. As mentioned above, we have become a society of people who are no longer able to take a joke, a mass of people so concerned with appearing sensitive that we have lost the ability to laugh at ourselves. I offer you this piece of evidence for your approval.

Two white Northwestern University students are in hot water after photos of them wearing blackface for Halloween surfaced this week on Facebook and sparked campus-wide outrage.

Student leaders at the Evanston school are holding a forum Thursday night to discuss issues of racism on a campus of overwhelmingly white students that two years ago had a similar incident involving two PhD students wearing blackface.

“While I fully support the principles of free expression, at the same time I am deeply disappointed to see any example of insensitivity that demeans a segment of our community,” new Northwestern President Morton O. Schapiro wrote in an campus-wide e-mail. “It is my hope that we can use this incident as a catalyst to reflect upon the values of inclusiveness and respect for others that are central to Northwestern’s mission.”

One of the students covered himself in blackface and wore a T-shirt with the word “Jamaica” on it. The other dressed as a female tennis player in blackface, a stuffed bra and toting a tennis racket.

White people doing blackface?! It must be racism! Hurry everyone, we must meet and discuss feelings, lest we become rabid monsters!

It couldn’t have just been a stupid costume, could it? No, it has to be racist. Now, no one knows the intenti0ns of these two students. No one knows their views on race and for all we know, they could be staunch supporters of minority rights. However, because they wore these costumes, they must be racist and now we must all go through the cathartic motions and mourn our innocence.

The problem with this is simple.

There is a double standard when it comes to race portrayal in this country. I don’t recall anyone getting upset when the Wayan Brothers dressed up as white girls, in the movie “White Chicks” and that movie was chalk full of white stereotypes. Therein lies the problem, because, if that movie had been reversed and white men had dressed as black woman, the film would have never seen by you or I. It is very difficult to talk of feelings and racial sensitivity when there is such a blatant double standard. If it is wrong for one group of people, it is wrong for all. Isn’t making special rules for one skin color not racist in its own right?

There are many acts of actual racism out there that we must address. Anytime that anyone is treated unfairly because of their skin color, sex or their sexuality, we draw away attention from their pleads for equality by labeling everything as an “ism”. Racists, sexists and the like are bottom of the barrel in  terms of humanity and it bolsters their cries of stupidity when we claim every act is one of their design.

The same goes for us queers. When Perez Hilton called  Will.I.Am a faggot, we went nuts and screamed about gay tolerance and hatred. Yet, we awarded Margaret Cho with a crown and all she does is use offensive gay slurs. Obviously we know there is a difference between intention and actualization, but we spend little time fact checking our moral outrages.

I can take anything you lob at me, so maybe I just happen to be difficult to offend. I also tend to make serious topics into humorous ones, as that is the way I tend to process most information. It will be a cold day in hell when I allow someone elses words to affect my state of mind and make me feel like a victim. I worry that we are unaware of the power we give racists, homophobes and intolerant bigots when we so clearly wear our war wounds. If we are ever to come together as a people we have got to learn to discern the difference between hostility and humor.

The only thing these students are guilty of is hanging out with a guy with a massive paper mache butt.

Drool….

Read the entire article at The Huffington Post

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Love Game – Lady Gaga… kinda

OK, first off, before you watch this… you must know one thing. I was not this fat looking in that costume. The video file has been squished so it just makes me APPEAR to be fat with a muffin top. However, I do want you to think my legs are really that large. So either way I am fat with muscular legs or skinny with no muscle at all. Depending on your physical preference, you imagine me as you wish when you shower tonight.

God, you are really sick. Is there no level to which you will not stoop? Tacky, just tacky.

Later on, we enjoyed other frivolities and danced the night away. I continued to look like an orbiting body.

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Chris carves some shit into a pumpkin. I get jealous.

Once again Chris has to go out of his way to prove how talented he is and make me feel as gifted as short kid with a big weenie. Sure, a big weenie has its purpose, but who is going to give a short person the time of day to even find out they have a big old dog dork down there? I know I sure as hell wouldn’t. (That means stop calling me Elijah Wood)

Yet again, Chris set his mind to something artistic and I watched in jealousy.

I was going to try and one up him,  by carving my own pumpkin, but I just watched First Wives club instead.

Talented asshole.

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Lady Gaga and other Halloween hideousness

Well, Halloween 2009 has come and gone and it was a pleasant enough experience. Chris and I had started the week off unsure as to what we were going to be doing Halloween night, beside the possible excursion to my sisters house. We figured it would get boring there after a while (they wanted to play bunco… ooh scary) and so we decided to look around for something to do around 10, giving us an excuse to leave before they started filling out their AARP membership cards.

We had spent nearly a week looking for costume ideas and we were unable to think of anything on the cheap. Being that we are operating at the poverty level, Halloween was going to be tight, or sparse. Either way, it was going to suck. Hazzah for holiday spirit!

I had originally wanted to go as Max, from where the wild things are, only because I wanted an excuse to sew. Now, I don’t sew very well at all, so if anything I would have gone as “Clothes and fur fabric wrapped over fat guy.” It’s a look, if nothing else. Thankfully, Chris pointed out, just how unoriginal I was being and we all know how I hate a lack of originality. (Says the gay guy with a snaky liberal blog)

I was tempted to go as Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous again and Chris was going to be my Edina, but sadly we couldn’t find a red pubic wig for Chris. I was hell bent on dressing up as a woman ONLY if I wasn’t the only one doing so.  So naturally, when Chris said he was going as Adam Lambert instead, I figured I would go as Lady Gage. Eh, I forgot.

We spent 80 bucks at the local Halloween store and went home to try on the hideous outfits. It was glori0us.

When Halloween night was upon us we spent several hours shaving and painting up our faces to look either gothic or bat shit crazy. I know very little about make up, other than I hate wearing it, so when it came to do my eye liner and eye makeup, I just starting jabbing my fingers into the makeup tubs like a fat kid at the M&M factory.  At least that’s what I did when I was there. Don’t you fucking judge me.

I looked hideous, Chris looked hideous and we walked out the door. The rest follows. Pray you spend little time in their terrific embrace, lest their images be burnt into your mind.

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A look at Halloween’s passed

Halloween is fast approaching and every year I tell myself I am going to get in great shape and make some amazing costume, one that allows me to show off my freshly chiseled stomach and bulging biceps. Instead, I gorge my fat ass on Taco Bell and tell myself that tomorrow is the day I will start punishing my hideous body, all in the hopes that People magazine will tell me that I am pretty. Stars are not just like us, for none of them would ever allow themselves to become Earth orbiting bodies, as large as I, capable of devouring entire ethnic communities anywhere a Martin Luther King Blvd can be found.  Of course, tomorrow always comes and I find myself full of Taco Bell and the least likely to find a reason to go sit on the treadmill, while I admire the other in shape bodies, pretending to be stretching as I look their way.

Yeah… we get it. You’re skinny… asshole.

Being that I never seem to make any physical headway, I always decide to go as something that is expected to be hideous. A man, dressed as a woman.

Now we all know my dislike of drag queens on any other occasion, but I don’t consider a womanly costume, used for Halloween, as  a foray into drag. Even though, most of the time, such costumes are usually as ugly and tacky as drag queens tend to be. Yeah, I said it. Take that inclusiveness.

So this year, I have found the perfect costume, being that I could not gather the materials needed to make a Saron(You don’t even know what that is)  costume and everyone else was going as Max from WTWTA. I refuse to be THAT unoriginal, although the prospect of getting to sew my own costume was pretty enticing… and just when you thought I was all masculine and shit. Yeah, I like to sew.

So, without giving away any info on this years costume, let me give you a guided tour of Halloween costumes passed. Now, not all of them are woman. I think I went as mostly video game crap and nerd nonsense most of those years. However, as Taco Bell and I have become intertwined in a death spiral of mild sauce sexuality, curvaceous woman and dead things are all I dress up as of late.

I really am a catch… I swear.

“Patsy” from Absolutely Fabulous

Sadly, I don’t have all of the pictures from most of my Halloween costumes and naturally, I blame the Jews. Somewhere, in one of my moving boxes, there are mountains of pictures, all containing one hideous costumes after another. For now, enjoy the pictures below and feel free to be glad you have ever seen me nude.

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