Sexism strikes scrubbing bubbles, feminists everywhere demand the end of loofahs!

I happen to find this Method ad funny, albeit creepy.  I guess that’s because I am a lecherous pervert, out for fresh vagina, or at least that is what I am supposed to think. After so much politically correct enlightenment, I have come to the conclusion I may be an ass, considering I find most everything funny while realizing a large percent of the people around me do not.

In light of this constant stream of blubbering fecundity, I am going to start adding these politically humorous affronts to the blog.  From now on, all things offensive to those without a thick skin shall be found under this heading and they shall also share the good honor of lifting my spirits. That is, of course, unless booze can be found and in such case, the booze shall do the lifting and the blog shall go to shit.

 

Video after the jump!

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SYSS – As untouched as the turn signal in an Asian woman’s car.

In today’s Shit You Should See. (I used curse words!)

Family Guy never fails to deliver. While this clip is not new, it was on tonight on Adult Swim and I couldn’t stop laughing,

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It’s not racism, if you’re ugly.

Can we please stop screaming racism when someone expresses they are not attracted to people of a particular ethnicity?

I just finished reading an article from a gay Asian man (gaysian?),upset because white and Hispanic men are not often times attracted to him. A two page pity party about euro centric standards of beauty taking over the gay community and how he had had enough of it, ensued. Rawrrr!

It wasn’t the due to the fact that he was visibly unattractive or just not physically the type of those particular men, it was obviously because he was Asian and the world was engaged in a secret plot with Ralph Lauren, designed to make him feel ugly. Paranoid much?

He honestly thinks that, because the gay advertising world doesn’t place enough Asian models in their ads, that this somehow influences people to suddenly find Asian men unattractive? It’s magic! It’s odd too, because I see images of skinny twinks all the time and I wouldn’t make out with a twink with Charlie Crist’s lips.

When was the last time you found yourself attracted to an entire race of people, because some model in some random magazine filled out his boxers nicely? That’s like hating scientologists, but then wanting to bone the whole cult, because you thought Gionvanni Ribisi looked hot as a stuffed animal in “The Other Sister.” (Which he totally did)  Or suddenly being overtaken by the urge to become homosexual because you saw how well I filled out a pair of jeans.

Please. You know I fill them out well.

The majority of gay magazines are dripping with images of twinky, starving, emaciated men (of all races) and yet I have somehow never found myself attracted to walking skeletons. Apparently I am the only person who derives my sexual attraction from my own personal choices, as it seems every other gay man in the world is forced to find only the men in gay magazines as acceptable standards of beauty. Apparently, my attraction to white and Hispanic men is based on repressed racism and it has nothing to do at all with the fact that I just like lighter skin and curly pubic hair. Great, for all my civil rights struggles, I come to find I am a racist because I don’t want to bone someone from every continent. It’s a small world after all.

The writer goes on to claim he is going to join his” queer Asian brothers in arms” and fight against the racism of the gay community and spark a revolution. All the while, reminding everyone that he is no longer dating guys based entirely on whether or not they are white. So, in other words, it’s OK for him to blatantly turn away men because of their skin color, but not OK for you or I to have a physical preference.

At this point I had to step away from the computer and look out the window, making sure the earth was still in fact rotating around the sun and not this man’s head.

I am also an ass man, should I slap myself every time someone without an ass hits on me and I graciously decline? Assicist!

I find myself attracted to deaf and blind folks, so does that mean I am reverse racist? No no, because those things are not based on race, they run the whole gamut. Kind of like… gee I don’t know… SEXUAL ATTRACTION? (Do you see how I put that in caps there? That’s how you know it was super serious.)

So now I am a sexist because I don’t find woman attractive, racist because I don’t like Asian guys, insensitive because I don’t like obese men, warped by pop culture because I find white men attractive and perverted because I like my men with a big ass and muscles. I can not even begin to imagine my therapy.

So after all of this, I came to the conclusion that this is not even related to racism, not even on a fundamental level. It’s actually quite simple. This guy was probably not that attractive, or to put it bluntly, he was ugly. Its OK dude, I get it. I have mediocre skin, some extra weight on me and my beard grows half ass-ed, but that doesn’t mean I am entitled to call everyone a racist because they don’t want to fuck my whiteness. Maybe its OK to be ugly, or just not everyone’s cup of tea.

Every time someone pulls out this nonsense, the ACTUAL acts of racism loose all of their power. You want something to bitch about?

Bitch about the fact that I never see people like me in magazines, people with massive eyebrows and man tits. Or better yet, get over yourself.

Burn bitch… burn.

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The internet isn’t gay enough. Less clicks, more dicks!

Oh you silly gays….

Should there be a .gay Internet suffix?

Two for-profit groups are pushing for one. The Dot Gay Alliance (dotgay.org), out of New York City, is being led by a longtime gay activist. And dotGay (dotgay.com) is being spearheaded by a heterosexual German man in Riga, Latvia, who has incorporated a company in San Francisco.

In other words, there could be hotels.gay, provincetown.gay, match.gay and pride.gay Web sites. (Question: What would the popular Web site gay.com have as its .gay counterpart? Gay.gay? Gaydotcom.gay? Or does it not get a .gay counterpart?)

While both groups have left open the possibility of cooperating, they haven’t yet joined forces. Both groups say they plan on starting the application process with the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers, or Icann, to create top-level domains, akin to .com, .edu, .org and .net.

Isn’t this the same nonsense that fat girls do when they walk around with shirts that say “Yeah, I am fat. Fuck you!”?

We get it… you are overly sensitive about your weight so you create this persona of someone who is, not only proud of their obesity, but hell bent on making sure you see how much they love it.

I have enough issues already. I really don’t want to feel like a fat girl when I visit my daily websites and blogs.

The problem with this idea is this. What do young gay men and woman do when they want to visit sites that may give them help or resources about homosexuality? If they happen to live with their parents or are searching from a location that considers homosexuality a topic worthy of being banned, they will have no access to these sites. I can imagine what would have happened if my parents had sat down and found out I had been looking at “Help-I think I may be gay.gay”. My mothers eyes would have exploded and she would have convinced herself my sexuality had everything to do with not going fishing enough as a child.

That actually happened…. oh  the shame.

Wouldn’t this kind of domain push revenue away from the non.gay domains? I don’t see how this kind of service will benefit anyone, besides those making money off of the registration fees. Not only does this seem a trivial issue, but it opens the doors for the Internet to become a maze of specialized domains and niche markets. (More so than it already is) It’s bad enough that we have to share the internet with Canada, now this? Two years from now we are going to be doing all of our research and Internet funnery from .fat, . bbw, .blackguy and .fistmeplease. When does the madness stop!

We even have the straights doing it now, as one of the two parties pushing for this, is a heterosexual man from Germany. You know he is just doing this so that he can make a list of all the gays… and you know what happens when Germans make lists of people they consider social deviants. It rhymes with schmallocaust.

Attention gay people, stop the madness! Not everything needs to be about our sexualiy. Let’s tone it down a bit and focus on important matters… we are starting to look more and more like Torrid shoppers everyday.

(I apologize for offending any fat chicks. I too share your shame. Cake?)

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Fagney and Gaycey

I got this video in my GMAIL a couple of weeks ago and I have been too busy to post it, well too busy to post anything as you can see from the lack of posts. However, now that Pride is over, the design site is up and running and I no longer need to pee constantly… I think now is the time for the funny. What do you think?

“Don’t try to get away or else I will shoot you”

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